Negativity and the Internet

Negativity is an insidious thing.

It is an evil that has to be battled constantly or it will overtake your life.

Now

I love FaceBook and the internet.

I think FaceBook is a great place to catch up with old friends, find support groups and play games. I’ve whiled away many hours playing Candy Crush.

I have used search engines to look up everything from pictures of purple dragons to my family genealogy.

But

The other side is the anonymity of it…how very easy it is to hide behind keyboards and doors.

I allowed myself to get sucked into that evil side the last couple of weeks.

See…

This is a hard time of year for me. It’s the time of year my niece died. My family has always relied on my mother to get us through these tough times. We don’t have her this year.

That made it hard.

So

I’m in this bad place…sad about my niece, missing my mother…and I let myself get sucked into the vortex of a “discussion” page.

It made me feel worse.

It made me feel defensive.

It made me say things that were better left unsaid.

I realized that this was not who I am.

More importantly

It’s not who I want to be.

Today on Breathe Day

I decided to inhale good, positive, uplifting thoughts.

I decided to exhale the negative thoughts.

Let’s do it

Breathe in…

Breathe out…

I feel better already.

I made a decision today to be positive.

It won’t be easy. It will be hard to forget some of the things that were said about me. I will forget to breathe and I will get upset.

But

Then I will remember.

And everything will be better.

Picasso Dove

Picasso Dove

peace.

it does not mean to be in a place

where there is no noise,

trouble or hard work.

it means to be in

the midst of those things and still

be calm in your heart.

Advertisements

On birthdays and memories

I had a hard week. I forgot to

Breathe

Today is one of those bittersweet days. 15 years ago, we lost my precious oldest niece. It’s so hard and we miss her so much.

On the other hand, it is my oldest brother’s birthday.

Yes…my niece died on my brother’s birthday.

So, today, I’m going to go see my sweet brother and sing Happy Birthday to him.

And

I am going to remember how lucky and blessed we were to have my niece for 17 years.

And

I’m going to miss my mama a whole lot today. We need her so much! She was our rock.

As you know, my youngest niece is getting married. When you think about celebrations and special events, you start thinking about those who will not be there with you. She and her fiancé have lost several special family members. How do you honor and remember your loved ones and still have a fun, positive day?

It is not easy, but it can be done.

First of all, it is better to acknowledge it in some way. Letting yourself feel that sadness helps let it out.

Some people use a memory candle or mention them in the program. These are both very good ideas and everyone else can share in your memories and love.

A more subtle approach can work, too.

Did your loved one have a favorite necklace? How about cuff links or a pocket watch?

Maybe you can find a favorite hankie or something they personally made.

Now

I know that these items may not go with your theme. That’s okay! You can do it subtly.

Find a way to incorporate them into your bouquet…pin something to the inside of your hem…carry that hankie.

Everyone else there may not know the significance of your item, or even know you have it.

But you will.

And that makes all the difference.

Grief. Memories. Longing. These are all very personal emotions. The best way to honor your loved one is to do it in a way that is meaningful to you. That’s all that matters.

(I love you Lindsey! I love you Mama! I love you Steve and Happy Birthday!!!)

i carry your heart

i carry your heart

i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)

i am never without it (anywhere i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done by only me is your doing, my darling)

i fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

i want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)

and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows

(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)

and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

~ e. e. cummings

Breathe

I am so over the term “hump day”. From now on, Wednesdays are going to be my BREATHE day.

As in

Breathe in good thoughts…breathe out bad thoughts.

As in

Take time and breathe. Enjoy the present…BE in the present.

As in

Consciousness is in the pause between breaths.

Before I took a break from working (more on that later), I was tense, had migraines and high blood pressure. I was working in an intensely stressful, deadline driven job. I loved my job; I work best under pressure. But there is a limit and my body was telling me I had hit it!

After a year of soul searching, and some gentle prodding from my sister, I decided to pursue my dream and start my own business. I have been considering this for years. Suddenly, it was the right time.

I love graphic design. I love starting with that blank page and making the first mark.

I love event planning. I love brainstorming and coming up with unique ideas. Starting from nothing and creating an entertaining and exciting experience is fabulous.

I love making things from “found” items. Upcycling, recycling, reusing, reworking. I want to take things that are used up, dirty and ugly, and make something special, romantic and beautiful.

Take a deep breath. I’ll take one, too. Kudzu and Romance starts TODAY. Join me in my journey…we’ll have fun together.